True unconditional love is so super powerful.
Do you have a child who is going through challenging difficulties?
Ned Hallowell is a psychiatrist, best-selling author, world-renowned speaker and leading authority in the field of ADHD. The book was co-written with Peter S. Jensen, M.D. one of the top ADHD researchers in the USA.
It is my responsibility to share the following with you.
“Nothing works better than love. The most common advice I give to parents who are having ongoing trouble with a difficult child is…
Hang in there. Keep loving him. Keep showing up. Keep trying. Keep setting limits, offering new ideas, making deals, wrestling with one catastrophe after another. Just don’t give up. Don’t write him off. One day all your love and all your efforts—and his—will pay off.
Sometimes these parents get annoyed with us for giving this advice. They already know that, they say, and they want something more esoteric, something more elaborate, something new that will work. And I do have various new interventions to offer. But none of them is worth a nickel without love.
I’ve been in this business long enough—I started treating patients in 1978—to know that I’m right. I’ve seen teens go to jail but, because one parent hung in there and kept loving them, find great careers for themselves years later.
I’ve seen children with ADD get tossed out of school after school, their parents told each time that this child is the “worst” (the actual word used) the school has ever seen, only at age 25 to own a million-dollar business and be as happy as can be.
I’ve seen adolescents with ADD get so depressed that they wanted to commit suicide and even try it, only years later to be helping me counsel other adolescents on how much better life can get.
I’ve seen girls in my office crying, saying how stupid and how they wish they were dead, only years later to be sitting in a chair in that same office telling me about their dream job acceptance, their upcoming marriage, or their having started their own business.
I’ve seen boys wasting their teens, only in their twenties to find the right connections, people who love him for who he is, and turn life into a spectacular success.
The difference—every time—is love: Love applied by someone, somewhere, somehow.”
People sometimes ask why we started a book about ADHD with a chapter on love. The answer is simple. Love is so powerful, yet we don’t talk about it nearly enough. Doctors don’t stress love enough. Teachers don’t honour it enough. As a parent, the loving relationship you have with your child is more precious than gold.
Now, let’s be clear. Treatment for ADHD matters a lot. Scientifically proven treatments can (and should) help your child. From behaviour therapy to medication to counselling, there are many, many good options.
But love is a key part of any treatment plan. Children who are loved, and who know they are loved, are getting the most powerful medicine for ADHD.
So, as you wade through treatments and therapies, never lose sight of what’s important. As you face challenges, and celebrate successes, keep the focus on love. It can make all the difference.”
Life is challenging. Life with your ADHD child is doubly challenging. If you can somehow convey your love to your child, no matter what, and impart the message to your child the message that Hashem loves them, no matter what, you have planted a seed in your child that will one day sprout and flourish beyond your wildest dreams.
To those parents who refuse to acknowledge that your child has a problem, (and they unfortunately are many,) yes, it is excruciatingly painful to face the truth. The worry is great. However let’s face the facts, who are you fooling. I have seen the other side with my clients, and the picture is not pretty. I have seen the excruciatingly painful side of not dealing with your child’s problems. Problems don’t go away, they just get bigger, and bigger, until they become unmanageable. The only way out of the dark tunnel is through to the light on the other side.
Your child has been given to you to by Hashem to cultivate into the best person he can be. Their problems were not caused by you. Please face the truth and go for help.
How are you going to show your love to your child today?
(Please note we take no responsibility for the contents of the above mentioned book.)
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